There’s only two ways to live your life- Empowered or disempowered! Your outer life is a reflection of your inner thoughts. Your subconscious mind-the hidden aspects below the surface, actually make up more than 90% of our being (think of an ice-burg below the surface of what we see). We often are not even aware of our patterns and reactions-they are deeply held within the storehouse of our memories, beliefs and even in the cells of our body-they are a vibrational frequency- an energy, and are best defined as automatic reactions to hurt, rejection, fear and betrayal. They are the parts we like to keep secret, and not share so easily with others- our ‘Shadow self’.
‘Look at your outer relationships as a reflection of your inner relationship with yourself.’
It took me many years to grasp this-I was doing all this healing and spiritual work; I was practicing Qi Gong daily- I was meditating, praying, journaling, reading and absorbing all of these ‘Spiritual’ teachings. Yet- I was living as a ‘Victim’, to my outer circumstances. I felt like there was an external force almost punishing me in life. My relationships were strained, I seemed to attract abusive and controlling partners. I often felt betrayed in friendships and didn’t speak up when these situations arose. My relationship with money was a disaster- and I had developed a ‘Poverty consciousness’ without fully being aware of it. I would watch and read all this stuff to do with the ‘Law of Attraction’ and ‘Wealth Mindset’ and thought that I could fix it with a few affirmations and listening to endless You Tube videos about how to attract wealth, but nothing was changing in my outer world. I knew intellectually that there were Money wounds going back to childhood. I knew that our relationship with money is a reflection of our relationship with ourself.
I kept thinking -if I can just heal my PTSD and focus on Self-Love and visualize new situations- I will heal all these challenges in my life.
My mental health condition- as real as it is, had become an aspect of my ‘Victim mentality’. I was putting all this focus and energy into having this ‘disorder’. My whole focus was on how broken I was- and all the things that had happened ‘to me’. I was completely disempowered and sometimes even felt like I would never fully heal. It was my inner belief system that needed healing-yet- I thought- because I understood the ‘Law of Attraction’ and was doing all of this ‘Spiritual’ work, that I would somehow just heal my life. I’d take a few steps forward-yet kept finding myself in all of these disempowering relationships and situations.
It took many years, and some painful life lessons to wake me up. They say Rock Bottom can be the catalyst for transformation, but I had felt like I had stayed at Rock Bottom for many years. I had stayed in many unhealthy situations for far longer than I should have.
The breakthrough came when I went to a lecture one evening about how our outer experiences are like an inner reflection of what we feel about ourselves. He spoke about abuse and how we choose these situations, in this ‘Victim state’ and that as long as we keep blaming the other person, we will always experience the same thing. It seemed like a hard pill to swallow- how could I have created all of these situations?
I sat down and really looked at my life. I reviewed everything, from my relationships, to my career, to my money situation- and in that moment the rose-tinted glasses were taken off- I had to call myself out on my own BS, and get honest and ask myself some honest and empowering questions;
- How do I feel about my current situation?
- How could these situations and current reality actually be happening for my highest good?
- Who is in control of my life? Who is in control of my thoughts?
- What do I need to let go of in order to transform and use all of these wounds as a gift?
- What was the lesson in these situations-what did they teach me?
- Where in my life had I been self-sabotaging, and letting myself down?
I started to really review these situations and ask how I could have dealt with them in a wiser, more empowered way. What would I need to do now, to make sure I don’t have to go through these situations again? This review process has changed my life. It takes time, and there are still things that I’m working through- but healing doesn’t happen overnight. When doing this it’s advised to be as objective as possible- to almost see yourself as another person in these situations- an aspect of yourself- not your true self- but as this ‘girl who was wounded’ this helps to not become to emotionally caught up in the events, but rather to take a very honest approach as if you’re looking at your life as a witness.
Pray for support and start building a relationship with your inner being-ask for guidance about what you need to do to support yourself. Feel this light surround you and giving you Love and support, and trust that when you ask for help and support it will be there.
Another healing tool that I use is EFT (Emotional Freedom technique) -these beliefs are often deeply stored in our energy body and cellular memories, and they can get stuck there. EFT helps to acknowledge the issues and traumatic memories, instead of pushing them away. As you tap on specific meridian points on your body, they can be brought to the surface and released. Again, this takes time, and there may be a lot of issues to begin with, and it can feel overwhelming, but stick with it, because it has literally been a lifeline to me, and helped to shift my perspective and thinking, and I can physically feel a difference in my body after working with this.
Expression is the anti-dote to depression, and finding a way to express my feelings and share my story has also played a major role in my healing and in the hope that people who can relate to my story, will also find some hope and tolls that can help them too.
Our thoughts are so powerful- we are what we think. Our whole life is a reflection of how we think. We can either be a slave to our thoughts, or we can become the ‘Captain of our ship and the master to our souls’. We may not be able to control certain things in our lives but we can learn to master our thoughts- we can always change our thinking. Our thoughts can be our wisest teacher or our worst enemy. And if we really want to, we can use our thinking to create the life we want. Our wounds are our really our teachers. It’s the suffering that can lead to the biggest breakthroughs in our life, if we shift our perspective around it. If we can become aware of our reactions and really become honest about the situations in our life, then we can create new empowering habits and patterns, and beliefs that can transform every area of our lives, from our relationships to finding joy in life to building a dream and vision and a fulfilling life of meaning.
We are so much more powerful than we could imagine. No matter what is going on around you, you always have a choice about how you think. Decide first of all- that you are going to overcome these inner challenges. See them as a test and trust that you have everything within to overcome it. You must trust and know that you can and will achieve inner peace and freedom. I promise you it is worth the effort. You deserve it.
Much Love. x