I recently listened to an online event- ‘Trauma & Awakening’, and one of the key speakers, Gabor Mate, spoke about how trauma is often the gateway or portal to a Spiritual Awakening.
This is certainly True for me and so many other Coaches, Shamans and healers that I listen to. How is it possible that Trauma could be this Portal into a Spiritual Awakening?
When something shakes us to our core and causes us to dissociate from the event or events, that caused us this pain- then we could call this a life-changing event. We dissociate, because the event shook us to our very core and we couldn’t be fully present, and so, as a way to protect ourselves, we dissociate. We may stay dissociated for years, and the trauma will remain trapped within us and unresolved, and affecting all areas of our life. Our ability to cope and function in the world can be hugely affected, and this can lead us to seek a deeper meaning as to why this may be happening and ways that we can heal and come out of it a better person. Or, on the other hand, it can cause us to remain trapped in that vibration, feeling like a victim, bitter and angry, fearful and confused, and avoiding life in all its Glory.
This searching for meaning was the catalyst of my Spiritual path, and the realization that there are other forces at work in the Universe. I had to find faith that this was the way it was meant to be, and that I had help and support from the universe, once I learned to trust. This wasn’t easy at first, and does take time. But after working with the practice of journaling and also other practices like asking for signs from the Universe and connecting with my Guardian Angel, I began to know not just hope, but to know that there are invisible forces at play and that we just need to tap into these and find ways of connecting.
I did this through writing at first and now, I also connect through nature and the bird Kingdom, asking for signs.
I am also starting to use other tools like Mirror work, which can be used as a Portal to our Superconscious self, and this is something I am still learning about-the truth is there are so many ways to connect to the Spiritual world.
After some time of learning and experimenting with different tools, I found some that I now stick to and use every day. They are writing, Qi Gong, review processes (The Steiner method), and connecting with Nature. I feel guided and supported in new ways, and the more I tap into these tools and energies the more I feel them working for me.
After working with them just for a short while, I began to see that actually there was a deeper purpose to the trauma, and maybe this purpose meant me stepping out to help others, and sharing my healing gifts. Could I have done that without the Trauma? Maybe- but maybe I would have taken a different path, maybe I would have been focused more on materialistic things, maybe I would have had different priorities. Maybe I wouldn’t have had as much compassion for others. Maybe I wouldn’t have learned to fully and completely Love, forgive and accept myself and to resolve some of my deeper wounds.
It took me many years to accept the cards I had been dealt in life- I was angry and felt like a Victim, and completely disempowered. Why had I been dealt these cards? Why was it all so difficult? These were the kind of questions I used to ask myself, and even writing them here I feel so disempowered. I feel like a Victim, with no way out. I was forced to find another way of looking at things. I was forced to seek a deeper meaning. I was forced because I could feel myself becoming more and more bitter, I could feel the rage and anger taking me over at times. I felt so far away from who I knew I could be in life. I felt so disempowered, so confused. So, I had to seek a deeper meaning, or I would end up becoming a bitter and angry person, who blamed everyone and everything for the way my life was-but I knew inside that I came here with a bigger and deeper purpose. So, I began simply to change the questions I asked myself- How can this be happening for my highest Good? What is trying to emerge within me? What is the best possible outcome of this situation? This alone was a game changer. The next thing was to start to review situations and take a bird’s eye view, and look at myself as if I was looking at a friend- this is the Steiner review process that I do each evening by looking at my day in reverses sequence, and then at new Year and my Birthday I do this from the previous year-it’s a powerful process that changes the way you see yourself and the people you encounter in life. This takes practice, but this has played a major role in me shifting my perspective, and being more honest with myself in situations.
Now- I can look at the things I do and mistakes I made from a much clearer perspective and not be so defensive about myself. But I take responsibility when I do mess up and own it. This is helping me to become a better person 100%. I am no longer a Victim; I am the captain of my ship. I know that the cards I was dealt was part of my Karmic evolutionary purpose, I agreed to them in this lifetime, and they are helping me also to follow my Dharma (My path in life), and to accept things as they are, while still being the very best I can be. I have learned through these Spiritual exercises to be more open and honest about myself, and to forgive the mistakes I do make, for I still am only Human. I have also worked on forgiving others, and realizing they too are wounded and only human too. This is my understanding of a Spiritual Awakening, when we can see the deeper purpose of things and that ultimately it is leading us to our true destiny and fulfillment- a sense that our life has meaning and purpose and that we are now helping others from that place. This is true transformation, turning our pain into gifts that can now help others, and allow us to become the fullest expression of who we came here to be.